Santo III
I was tired, my back hurt. My face and body was broken out so badly I wasn't sure if I had acne or boils. My mouth tasted bad, I'm sure I had dragon breath. And rightly so. My diet consisted of jello, oatmeal, and soup. I was unable to hold anything down. What didn't come out one end, came out the other. I was an effort to keep anything in. I kept smelling overpowering scents and I didn't know where they were coming from.
I dialed my godparents phone number. My godmother answered.
"Botanica" she said flatly.
"Hi Madrina.
"Yes, who is this?"
She spoke in a melodic singsong.
"It's me, Kari."
"You crazy bitch, where have you been? What's good baby?"
"Same old, and you?"
"We're still here. I have'nt seen you in forever. When are you coming to see me?"
"Well," I hedged, "I don't know, that's what I wanted to talk to you about."
"Tell me."
"Madrina something's wrong. I feel funny."
"Funny? What do you mean funny? Funny ha ha? What is funny?"
I let out loud sigh.
"Weird Madrina. I can't sleep. I wake up at the same time everynight with my heart beating out of my chest, sweating. I can't eat, I've lost about 20 pounds in a month. Dhiahrehea, vomiting, crying. And I keep hearing shit in my head, like someone's talking to me, trying to tell me something, and I can't figure out what it is. And I'm dreaming weird dreams. I keep thinking Yemaya's trying to tell me something, and I don't know what she's trying to say. I never can remember my dreams, well I'm dreaming so much now I wake up with headaches. I wake up, and I the first thing I think of is Yemaya. She may as well be in bed with me, her ass is crowding me. All of my thoughts get stuck in my head like a broken record, and I can't get them to shut off, they're driving me crazy."
"Yes, Yemaya is speaking to you, Flaca."
"I know, but I don't know what she's trying to tell me, and alot of other stuff is going on."
"Like what, tell me."
"Everything Madrina, something's not right. I can't put my finger on it. Everybody goes through rough times, but...I don't know. Maybe I'm just being stupid. I can't put my finger on it, but all I can tell you is everything is off, and through no doing of my own. There's bad luck, we all have it, and then there's something else. I feel like I have weights on my back."
I could feel her listening to me and carrying on a conversation with somebody else in the background.
"Hello?" I asked.
"Wait a minute baby, hold on. Tony! Tonee! Go get padrino."
The phone clanked down on the counter and the drawer of the cash register closed.
"Kari, listen to me, you need to come see me."
"Okay, but I.."
"Kari-you need to come speak to me here, mamma. Wait a minute, here's your godfather."
"Who is it?" I heard him ask.
"La flaca blanca, " my godmother murmured.
"HEEY Kari, mamma, how are you?"
"Hi Padrino."
I could feel my bottom lip start to tremble, and bit back my tears.
"Are you okay?"
"Well, no not really. Madrina says she wants me to come up."
"Okay mamma. When you coming?"
I heard my godmother shriek in the bathroom, "Tell her she needs to get her ass here, NOW."
"You hear that."
"Yes Padrino."
"So when you coming?" he stated loudly.
"I'm coming now, I'll see you in two hours."
"Okay, hurry up."
I washed my face, took my medication, threw my crap in a bag and headed out the door.
The hallway was silent and still. I dumped my trash in the can and closed the gate behind me. My eyes inadvertently wandered to a dark spot on the sidewalk. Someone got thier head bown off in front of out stoop two weeks ago. My roommate poured dirt over it because she didn't want to look at the brain matter on the sidewalk.
Another unpleasant episode. The weather was brisk and chilly. I got a coffee and made my way down the stairs to the train. The ride to the Bronx was a long one. The rain came and I settled in.
I connected to the F and sat in the corner and let the rocking of the train ease me into a dull fatigued space.
I sang songs in my head in time to the rythym of the train. One motherfucker, two motherfucker, three motherfucker, four, motherfucker motherfucker, open up the door. Stopping momentarily, I saw the same homeless man that appeared to me before. His sunken face and eyes that looked through me as if to say, "well, we are waiting."
The train pulled out and he looked past me.
I dialed my godparents phone number. My godmother answered.
"Botanica" she said flatly.
"Hi Madrina.
"Yes, who is this?"
She spoke in a melodic singsong.
"It's me, Kari."
"You crazy bitch, where have you been? What's good baby?"
"Same old, and you?"
"We're still here. I have'nt seen you in forever. When are you coming to see me?"
"Well," I hedged, "I don't know, that's what I wanted to talk to you about."
"Tell me."
"Madrina something's wrong. I feel funny."
"Funny? What do you mean funny? Funny ha ha? What is funny?"
I let out loud sigh.
"Weird Madrina. I can't sleep. I wake up at the same time everynight with my heart beating out of my chest, sweating. I can't eat, I've lost about 20 pounds in a month. Dhiahrehea, vomiting, crying. And I keep hearing shit in my head, like someone's talking to me, trying to tell me something, and I can't figure out what it is. And I'm dreaming weird dreams. I keep thinking Yemaya's trying to tell me something, and I don't know what she's trying to say. I never can remember my dreams, well I'm dreaming so much now I wake up with headaches. I wake up, and I the first thing I think of is Yemaya. She may as well be in bed with me, her ass is crowding me. All of my thoughts get stuck in my head like a broken record, and I can't get them to shut off, they're driving me crazy."
"Yes, Yemaya is speaking to you, Flaca."
"I know, but I don't know what she's trying to tell me, and alot of other stuff is going on."
"Like what, tell me."
"Everything Madrina, something's not right. I can't put my finger on it. Everybody goes through rough times, but...I don't know. Maybe I'm just being stupid. I can't put my finger on it, but all I can tell you is everything is off, and through no doing of my own. There's bad luck, we all have it, and then there's something else. I feel like I have weights on my back."
I could feel her listening to me and carrying on a conversation with somebody else in the background.
"Hello?" I asked.
"Wait a minute baby, hold on. Tony! Tonee! Go get padrino."
The phone clanked down on the counter and the drawer of the cash register closed.
"Kari, listen to me, you need to come see me."
"Okay, but I.."
"Kari-you need to come speak to me here, mamma. Wait a minute, here's your godfather."
"Who is it?" I heard him ask.
"La flaca blanca, " my godmother murmured.
"HEEY Kari, mamma, how are you?"
"Hi Padrino."
I could feel my bottom lip start to tremble, and bit back my tears.
"Are you okay?"
"Well, no not really. Madrina says she wants me to come up."
"Okay mamma. When you coming?"
I heard my godmother shriek in the bathroom, "Tell her she needs to get her ass here, NOW."
"You hear that."
"Yes Padrino."
"So when you coming?" he stated loudly.
"I'm coming now, I'll see you in two hours."
"Okay, hurry up."
I washed my face, took my medication, threw my crap in a bag and headed out the door.
The hallway was silent and still. I dumped my trash in the can and closed the gate behind me. My eyes inadvertently wandered to a dark spot on the sidewalk. Someone got thier head bown off in front of out stoop two weeks ago. My roommate poured dirt over it because she didn't want to look at the brain matter on the sidewalk.
Another unpleasant episode. The weather was brisk and chilly. I got a coffee and made my way down the stairs to the train. The ride to the Bronx was a long one. The rain came and I settled in.
I connected to the F and sat in the corner and let the rocking of the train ease me into a dull fatigued space.
I sang songs in my head in time to the rythym of the train. One motherfucker, two motherfucker, three motherfucker, four, motherfucker motherfucker, open up the door. Stopping momentarily, I saw the same homeless man that appeared to me before. His sunken face and eyes that looked through me as if to say, "well, we are waiting."
The train pulled out and he looked past me.
posted by Teenage Frankenstein at 2:06 PM
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