Lunch robbery

This morning I was on the train and some guy tried to take my lunch away from me.
He said, "gimme your lunch," and I said, "fuck off," as he made a grab for it.
I couldn't believe it! He had one side of my bag, and I had the other. We were pushing and pulling. I did'nt pay him any mind at first, I just figured he was another crazy homeless dude. They always hit me up for money and I always give it to them. Some of them are ingenious with the raps they lay down of thier misfortunes. Some of them will humour you out of your money. I like the three junkies that get on the train and sing doowop and spirituals. Even if you don't give them anything they always smile and say thank you, get home safe.

There was a crackhead in Los Angeles, her trick was was to come at you from across the street, screaming as if she was being murdered, or a great emergency was underway. By the time she got right up in your face and you realized what she was up to, you wanted to kill her. She never got anything from me, she made me so nervous I resented her immensely and wanted to get away from her. She was famous and lived off that ludicrous hustle for years.

Then there's the surly ones that look at you as if you're a turd because you only give them fifty cents.

Once in the east village, I saw this one middle aged junkie on the sidewalk begging for change. She was core, one of the worst I had seen in the neighborhood. She was tore up and I felt bad for her, her face was as red as a tomato, and her fingers were swollen like sausages from shooting in her hands. I gave her a twenty and she almost passed out from shock. She was so happy, it made me happy. It was like winning the lotto for two seconds. If I wont the lottery I would go around with a stack of twenties, and just pass 'em out to the homeless. Probably would'nt help much in the long run, but my lifes calling is'nt social work. I just like to see people happy sometimes.

You're probably thinking why does'nt she call this "tips for dealing with the homeless?", But I'm getting to the lunch part, I just got sidetracked...
Anyways, I'm on the subway and the train is swaying to and fro, going clackety clack, and this dopefiend tries to gank my lunch. He had one end of my sack and I had the other, and were both pulling, he as equally determined as I. The bag rips, and my peanut butter and jelly and apple and applesauce, went everywhere. I was so mad I kicked him on the shin.

He said, "bitch, you don't know who you fuckin with," and puffed his chest out as if he was gonna do something. And I threw a tepmer tantrum on the train. I started buggin', I was so mad. I can't stand a bully, especially a man bully.
I screeched like an idiot: "Work, work, work! That's all I do, day in and day out, and for WHAT!?? So some crackhead can throw my peanut buter and jelly on the floor! Peanut butter and crackheads, that's all I deal with!"

I spit a flyaway hair from my face and bent down and picked up my dented apple and threw it at him as hard as I could. It bounced off his head and he looked as though his feelings were hurt.
"You want my lunch, hah? Here-have some lunch, motherfucker!" and proceeded to chase the remained of my lunch around the train and bean it at him, one item at a time. He was shocked, as if he had the birthright to take peoples lunches from them anytime he wanted.
"Why don't you go to the upper east side and take thier lunches from them, you lazy no hustle motherfucker!"
I could feel my lips trembling and I knew I was going to cry. Weeks of unresolved frustration was rolling off me in a PMS induced wave. I just wanted to be in my warm bed with cookies and milk.
He was ducking and dodging, he grabbed the connecting car door, flung open and ran into another car.
Everyone on the train was staring at me.

When I got to work I started my period.