Santo IV

I was tired when I got to the Bronx. The bell to the botanica door jingled as I opened it. The store smelled like incense and oil. A life size statue Of St Michael the archangael stood guard over the register and counter. The expression on his face was unreadable. He held a sword in his hand and his foot rested on the head of Satan. Satan had bat wings and was getting his face pushed into the dirt. He didn't look too happy.

"Hello," I called out. No one behind the counter. African drumming boomed through the room. I walked to the back of the store. My godafther sat in his chair leaning back, and staring at the monitors watching the store. He smiled at me and stood. I crossed my hands in front of my chest saluting foribale, my left shoulder to his right, then my right to his left, and hugged him.

"Hey Kari," he said, "how you doin?"

I shrugged lamely and sat down.

"You don't look so good Kari, you need to eat more."

"I know padrino."

My godmother bustled to the back of the store and her eyes narrowed at me.

"Look at you," she gawked, and hugged me. "Your arms are like sticks."

She pinched the flesh on my upper arm and let go, "you need to eat Flaca. Were ordering food now. You want beans and rice?"

I agreed and sat down. She called in the food and watched my every move.

"Yes hello," she trilled into the phone and rattled off her order in Spanish and hung up.

"Come and sit down. Tony, do you see this?" she said to my godfather, and raised her hand in the air as if to say: what am I gonna do with her?

"Yeah Kari, you look like shit," my padrino said sternly, "this is not good. You need to get consulted."

Come Flaca, were going to find out what the trouble is right now." My godmother took me by the hand and led me to the muertos room. I sat in the chair and uncrossed my feet and put my hands up on the table and watched as my godmother lit a cigar and puffed. The room was heavy with smoke. The walls were covered with catholic saints and her table was lit up with flickering candles. She picked up her shells and began the process of swirling them in a mass on the table, speaking prayers and dropping water on the shells as she stared at me and her hands moved. She picked up the shells in one hand and hit the table with her fist and let them drop. She counted the number of cowries that sat face up and wrote them down on her pad. She dropped a stone and seashell into my palm.

You know what to do, shake them."

I shook the stone and the shell in my enclosed hands.

"Separate," she said.

I let one fall in one hand, and one in the other.

"Open your right hand." As I did the shell fell out, the stone in the other hand. She wrote it down and then took the shells and threw them once more. She again counted the ones facing up and grunted, writing it down.

"Again Flaca." She dropped a stone in my hand and a round ball of powdered and compressed eggshell into my hand.

"Separate. Left hand." I dropped the stone out of my left hand and the eggshell remained in my other. She sighed long and threw the shells. She repeated this process over and over till the throws were complete. And lit her cigar and stared at me hard.

"Listen very very carefully to what I'm going to tell you now. Yemaya is speaking in this signal. You have to do Santo soon. We can keep cleaning you and doing things for you if you have a problem, but it's only going to work temporarily. You should of done Ocha years ago. Do you remember the consultation I gave you a year ago?"

I nodded my head, not wanting to remember the details.

"Do you remember all of it? Dont answer- I know you put it out of your mind 'cause you didn't want to deal with it. Let me remind you, and you tell me if you remember correctly. I told you a shit storm was coming your way, didn't I? I told you to keep your head didn't I? I told you no matter what, to keep your head cool, and don't react to anything- did'nt I? I told you not to argue or yell in your house, didn't I? I told you there was going to be a betrayal, and your whole world was going to change did'nt I? I also told you to hang on, because at the end of it all you were going to win, but you could not lose your head and to be very carefull with everything didn't I? I told you that you were going to go mad, did'nt I? Well I did'nt tell you everything Flaca, because there was nothing I could do for you. You had to go through it for your own spiritual evolution."

I nodded slowly and tracked back in my head her consultation that day. A tear rolled out of my eye.

"Baby your shit storm is here."